It has only happened once in the many years I've been running this respectable journalistic enterprise. But before I get into that, a bit of faffing about to delay getting to the point, just like any good games journalist!
As anyone who has been following this blog for a while knows, I have a complex mathematical process through which I decide spot placements in my GOTY lists. I won't go through it here since I go through it in the yearly article every time, but suffice it to say that it's a loose way for me to make initial spot placements. It's hard for me to decide what should go in spot 6 versus spot 7, so this process more-or-less does that work for me. I still get to rearrange things based on my gut after that, but that's how it goes every year.
In some years, the math has been decisive. Take 2020 through 2023 as an example. Doom Eternal, The Forgotten City, Neon White, and Lies of P all dominated the competition in my system, and my heart 100% agreed with those results...so there was nothing more to do!
In other years, the math has been the sole deciding factor. 2018 had 5 games that I would've handily given the coveted top spot to. But since that would be ridiculous, I just let the system do its thing. So, it went to God of War, and I'm still happy with that choice to this day.
Then there are years like 2024, where my system was totally worthless. The numbers selected a winner, but I found it hard to be satisfied with it...so I ended up just letting my heart decide. My heart chose Mouthwashing, and again, I'm still glad I made that choice.
Whatever the relationship between my heart and my system is in a given year, the common theme is that the winner stays the winner, and I'm always happy with the result.
But as I said in the brief introduction, there was one year where I had a change of heart after the fact.
In 2017, I didn't quite have time to finish Persona 5, but I truly loved what I'd played of it. So it went on my GOTY list in a relatively low spot, but it obviously lost to Yakuza 0. Yakuza 0 was the winner in both my metrics at the time, and when I was writing the article, it was the obvious choice.
Well, fastforward to early 2018, and I finally completed Persona 5. As anyone who read my "Best of All Time" list from last year knows, Persona 5 is within my top 5 favorites. I loved it so much that I knew it was my actual favorite 2017 release. So, I retroactively altered my choice.
And now, for 2025, I find myself on the precipice of change. I find myself standing upon the accretion disk of a fickle singularity that will swallow the world if left unchecked. And I find myself struggling to find another pretentious, self-congratulatory way of saying "I'm retroactively changing my choice for the second time in my history as a journalist."
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 was what the system chose in 2025, and it made sense. I was thrilled by it, even. What other choice could there be? From every objective standpoint possible, it was the clear winner. It had the best soundtrack, the best story, the best characters, the most deep and innovative gameplay loop, the best graphical style, the single best antagonist in any game that has ever existed, the list flipping continues (pun intended).
But even as I wrote the words at the end of the year, I was conflicted. I said as much in the article itself. My #2 spot winner was equally in consideration for GOTY, and thus 2025 was another one of those "let the math decide" years. I was happy with the result, but deep down the conflict remained.
As the months have gone by, I've found myself continuing to feel that conflict. It hasn't been the kind of feeling that would make me change my mind, but it has been a "man, I wish I could've given it to both of them" feeling.
So, what ultimately led to this short article? Well, the night before I started writing this (mid-May of 2026), I was having a bout of my all-too-frequent insomnia. In my desperation to get some sleep, I decided to play a song from that spot #2 winner that I'd used to get to sleep for a lot of late 2025. I'd stopped using it after a while since its power was waning from repeated listens...but enough time had passed that I figured it might work again.
Lo and behold, I almost instantly started being able to relax and feel my body start to rest. But at the same time, I felt this intense emotional ache. Then it hit me.
When I think back on 2025, my happiest memories in gaming weren't from Expedition 33. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of great memories from that (the "good" ending, christ on a pogo stick). But it's really just a quality handful of great memories. My #2 choice, however, makes me feel warm and fuzzy when I think back to even the worst levels.
Expedition 33 was objectively the best choice in nearly every way. But looking back, it wasn't the one that held the biggest place in my heart.
Hollow Knight: Silksong was.
I'll let literally every person I've talked to about Silksong get their "yeah, that's what I thought"s out of the way now.
Part of what made second place a reasonable idea to me was the fact that the game has some very real, very objective flaws. The runbacks are terribly long. Some of the enemy gauntlets (looking at you, High Halls) are completely unreasonable. Nearly every bit of damage you take removes two full masks of health. Like, come on! It makes every bit of sense that the objective choice would win the top spot and the one with significant flaws would come in second...
But absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder. And I've come to realize several truths I couldn't see back in December.
While Expedition 33 was a totally stacked shorter title, Silksong was the game I put well over 100 hours into.
While Expedition 33's soundtrack is probably the best of all time, Silksong's was the one that would rock me to sleep when it was hard to do that.
While Expedition 33 was the apple of my eye in my waking hours, Silksong was the game I'd go back to at 4am when the soundtrack didn't happen to work and the sleep just wasn't going to arrive.
Some truths I already knew back then have also come back to light with a vengeance.
When Silksong's myriad of flaws all conspired to make me quit, the love I felt for it compelled me to adapt.
When certain challenges seemed legitimately impossible, I felt devastated that I wouldn't actually complete the game...and then I picked up my needle again and again because I wasn't going to let the impossible keep me from seeing it through to the end.
When the credits rolled and I started trying out the optional super-bosses that would lead me to the "true" ending, I kept saying "yeah, I'm up against x, but I probably won't get past them." And that was ok with me. After all, I'd made it to the end credits in the first place, and that was way more than I thought I'd be able to do!
But one-by-one, those super-bosses would fall, and the goalposts would once again move.
"Yeah, I'm up against y, but I probably won't get past them."
"Yeah, I'm up against z, but I probably won't get past them."
"Yeah, I'm up against the true final boss, but I probably won't get past her."
Anyone I've ever talked to about Silksong is likely getting some serious deja vu here...
So, it's about 5 months too late...but all of this is to say that I'm here to issue a correction for my 2025 Game of the Year list.
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 is well-deserving of its now-former title, and I'd still recommend it to anyone and shout it from the rooftops as an all-time great.
But henceforth, the 2025 GOTY winner is Hollow Knight: Silksong.
And having now said so, there's an almost physical feeling of peace in my heart that simply hasn't been there since the list first went up.
Silksong will likely frustrate you at times. But for the certifiably insane price of $20 (remember that it took me over 100 hours to complete) and availability on literally any hardware you're likely to have, I implore you to give it a shot if you're even remotely inclined.
And if that isn't an option, I have other recommendations. Try falling asleep to the Choral Chambers theme. Or when you need an epic, inspirational piece that might also make you tear up, try "Last Dive." Whatever way you choose to engage with Hollow Knight: Silksong, I can guarantee you'll find something you enjoy.
Onward and upward!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thoughts? Questions? Think I'm full of it?